No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
