dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
