Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize