i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
