so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
