after a month anything with tits is on the radar
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
