come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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