i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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