next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
