All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
