Do you still have your period?
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
