just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
