Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
