ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
