There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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