He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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