i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
