we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
