you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I think people are normalizing furries
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
