Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
