I think I am morally bankrupt
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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