Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Come see our sink grown plant.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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