if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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