you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
