check it out our google latitudes are spooning
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize