I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
