I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
