He is an equal opportunity slut.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
