he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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