I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
