it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Randomize
