I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
