Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
