Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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