So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
