..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Be still, my beating vagina.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
