so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
