...so i touched it.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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