Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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