i will never coherently bang her
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
