I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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