Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
