is your mom at the bar?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
