This girl is more easily done than said...
Barsexuality is the new black.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
