just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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