I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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