you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
