you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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