I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
