I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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