i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
