Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
